For the month of Jun 12, the ovulation did occur albeit after a series of TCM Accupuncture for which we grabbed at the chance as usual.
The 2WW ended on 25 Jun 12, Monday when I spotted followed by the full menstrual flow on 26 Jun 12, Tuesday. Another sad day which my tears fell as if there is no tomorrow. I blamed Everything for this loss of yet another chance.
I must say that the days leading up to the Ovulation (10 Jun 12, Sunday) was very stressful for both your father and myself. This is because we were actually preparing for our exams on that very day itself and had been burning the midnight oil diligently for the past week. To add on, there were some changes in my work and I was being tasked to organise and manage a company-wide event practically all by myself. ='(
There was a committee set up by sadly, not all were keen to help. For the very few who were keen and willing to help, I am always thankful. Basically, I was running the whole show on my own, looking after all the nitty-gritty to the bigger items ALL BY MYSELF! Imagine my frustration! Your Dad totally understands the amount of stress that I was going through to the extent that I will find myself waking up in the dead of the night, setting reminders on what needs to be followed on etc.
It does not help that there were some issues encountered with the venue etc which brought along with it tremendous amount of stress. It was a difficult time and I am really thankful for the help given by your Dad. Can you believe that our family (your Dad, me and your sister) spent our weekends walking up and down the same shopping mall for a whole 9 hours on 16 Jun 12, Saturday sourcing for the gift items? Another 6+ hours of our personal time was wasted again on 17 Jun 12, Sunday and after buying all those stuffs, we rushed over to your Grandpa's place to have dinner together for Father's Day.
Your sister had great fun walking around our table and pulling out all the toys in her small little bag that she brought along. =) That was quality family time and fun, unlike the prelude.
The 2WW came and went fast, in between I did testing with the HPT but all turned out negative. However, on a Friday (either 15 Jun 12 or 22 Jun 12) itself, I found a spark of hope in the form of a speck of blood, fondly assumed to be implantation bleeding.
This brings me renewed hope and I really really really believe that we will be seeing you on the HPT and soon to come, a little flicker on the ultrasound screen representing your cute heartbeat, the growth of my tummy on a daily basis and the kicks and somersaults that will follow as well as welcoming you in our secure arms in Mar 13. =)
No words can describe my Joy on that day! =) I am confident and feeling all the positive vibes! Sore boobs and all that I experienced when I found out that I was carrying your sister back then! Even though in between the speck of blood, all the HPT showed up negative but I have a good feel that you were there.
However, my world came crashing on 25 Jun 12, Monday when more specks of blood was detected on 25 Jun 12, Monday, I was worried, very worried in fact. I was wondering what was happening? My menstrual cycle is due to start this week (with my luteal phase of 16 days) and I am not welcoming this blood now!!
The full flow came in the middle of the night on 26 Jun 12, Tuesday and for the days that followed, my mood index fell with no end in sight. But the event is scheduled on 29 Jun 12, Friday, I have no choice but to still put up a brave front and ensure that Everything runs the way they should be, as best as I can.
Your Dad took half day leave and we met up for lunch before popping back to Mummy's office to pick up the presents and your Sister. Your Dad helped me out over at the event while I busied myself with the nitty-gritty and tying up the loose ends. It was a busy busy night as if we are some sort of wedding planners etc. Your sister? She busied herself with her cookies and running around the place unbridled and not looked after/ over by anyone. To this date, I still feel so bad over this. Imagine, what if we had lost her on that night, it would be totally not worth it and I would never forgive myself and my strong sense of responsibility towards the undeserving work.
As it was a Company event, your Dad and Sister then went back to the carpark and stayed inside the car, waiting for your Mummy patiently till the event ends..
I am grateful for their love and patience towards me and it feels so warm and good to be able to return to a deserving family who really really should be getting 100% of me and my attention and not that work assignment that is assigned. The feel is that no one is appreciative and does not really see the huge effort that our family had placed in the event. It was a company project and the manpower that helps make this event happen came from our family, devoted to making it work for the hundreds of them.
Life is just so unfair. My little baby, that is what I can tell you, but please, please, never lose hope for the world will be a better place with you around. Welcome to our family, we will shower you with the respect, boundless love and patience that we accord to each other in our family and You are one of Us. =)
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