Flutters ~~~~~~~

I had been feeling some sort of flutters inside since last week (15+ weeks) albeit it being on an on and off basis. But it still feels good and ticklish. Well, it feels very much like bubbles inside and sometimes I can feel your movements even though I can't see anything on my belly yet (as you grow bigger, when you move inside, I will be able to see your elbow etc scrapping against the tummy).

Okay, am not making much sense in the above paragraph. =p But what Mummy is trying to tell you is that I can feel you, your little movements inside, on an ad-hoc basis.

However, you are still resting on those veins such that the pelvis discomfort still remains and in fact, worsens at times. But still, sometimes, when am too pre -occupied with stuffs, it does not really bother me much. The time when I felt the discomfort the most is at night when resting.

The discomfort got worst last week, when Mummy and Daddy took leave for our exams on 3 Dec 12, Mon. Sitting on those hard benches is really uncomfortable so much so that by Day 2 of my leave, I am starting to develop such a bad backache, pain at the middle portion of the spine area and aching neck too. However, I still refused to take medication such as Pandanol etc as a pain relief for fear of the unknown. But I just could not take it anymore and called up the TCM to check if I can go in for the accupuncture, tuina or ba guan aka cupping. The sinseh mentioned that as the pregnancy is only considered as stable from 6 months onwards in TCM's view, she does not suggest accupuncture but may try out cupping and tuina instead.

However, the thing that is holding me back is that the cost, the sinseh will be charging me on a per session rate even though the accupuncture is skipped etc, which then makes the treatment relatively expensive. While I was thinking through and looking for alternatives, the sinseh called me back and said that it is best not to attempt and advised that I try to endure the pain. Since she is unwilling to do it, I will not force her too.

But the pain is horrible and my head feels so so so heavy and I feel so much like puking due to the giddiness and all. After calling another TCM, Ying Chuan at Jurong East up, the lady mentioned that they do not offer accupuncture services but instead, has guasha and cupping which is suitable for pregnant women, just that certain points may nee to be skipped. I was totally okay with it and your Daddy sent me over to the TCM.

The wait was short, maybe around 20 minutes or so and soon enough, it was my turn. The guasha session is fast, maybe around maximum of 10 minutes for which I was charged $20. Well, it is relatively expensive (considering that for an hour, it would work out to be $120) but at least it sorta helped to relieve some of the tension in my head, neck as well as the upper back. She avoided the shoulder saying that there are major arteries running through the area and it is best to avoid the area. Whatever she says, as long as I can regain some of my senses and get rid of that drowsy and heavy head feel.

After the session, Daddy and Mummy decided that the timing is just too odd to return to our study place. Hence, we proceeded to Tiong Bahru Plaza to catch a movie 'Life of Pi' instead. It was nice and the 3D version's timing is just perfect, we can pick your sister up after the movie and it would not be too late, only around 6+ pm. =)

The leave days started a blur but as the days progresses on, it was more of stress and excitement as the exam date drew nearer. However, there was one other thing that was bugging me, that was I did not feel much bubbles inside after the guasha session and I was real real real worried about you. I tried prodding, poking, vibrating the tummy slightly using my hands but there was still no response from you. In the end, I really wanted to bring out the doppler to use but considering that I do not really know how to use the doppler, I figured that it will only end up giving myself more stress. Just at that moment of dilemma, you moved and I felt bubbles inside my tummy again! =) That is indeed a relief to me, that you are alright inside! =)

Today is 4 Dec 12, Tuesday and Mummy is back in office after the exam ended on 3 Dec 12, Monday. I am not sure why, but I really could not sleep well yesterday night. This was despite me being so shagged after the examination, but when we retired to bed, I just kept waking up, at 1+am, 2+am, 3+am (by your sobbing sister, guess she had a bad dream) and 5+am.

Let's just hope that I will be able to get a good night sleep tonight. =)

Our 3rd Appointment with You on 24 Nov 12, Sat

Finally, the day has come again! =)

It is what we have been eagerly waiting for, to see you again, our dear!

Our appointment is early at 9:30am and we woke up at 8+ am and proceeded to prepare ourselves for our appointment.

In view of the early appointment, we decided to have breakfast only after the appointment.

Daddy commented that he is not sure why, but at the previous gynae, even though we have had appointments, the waiting time was still long whereas over here at this new gynae, even though the clinic was packed, the clinic assistant managed to keep to the appointment time. =p Well, food for thought, I had never wondered about this though. The only reason that Mummy can think of is maybe the gynae that we had chose does not see that much patients and the cost of seeing him is relatively high (think consultation of $80 and scan of $40).

Once we were inside the gynae's room, Mummy proceeded to offload her fears and concerns, i.e the persistent pain at the pelvies area (something that felt like one had cycled on the bicycle for many many kilometres) and the seemingly increased watery discharge.

Pertaining to the various feelings, Mummy's concerns/fears are listed as follows:
1. persistent shooting pain at the pelvis area: (a) symphysis pubis dysfunction, (b) incompetent cervix or (c) UTI
2. watery discharge: (a) incontinence due to the lack of proper care after delivery of your sister or (b) waterbag leakages

The gynae sorta laughed off the concerns and mentioned that the dysfunction would feel otherwise whereas one is not born with incompetent cervix etc and said not to worry unduly. As for the persistent pain that I am feeling, he reckons that it could be the pressure that you are putting on the veins delivering blood etc to the area, such that pain can be felt.

As for the watery discharge, the gynae was saying that if it is the waterbag leakages, basically, the water will rush down the legs and instead of like once in a while, there are wet patches.

Well, at least this allayed quite a fair bit of my concerns/fears. Next up is the scan and your Daddy carried your sister to the scanning area and your sister was so amazed by the screen that was hanging from the ceiling that she kept pointing to it. Haha.

Let Mummy describe the room to you, it is a squarish room and at the corner of the room, there is a curtain which cordons off the scanning area. So, once the Mummy is inside with the pants pulled slightly down to expose the tummy, the curtains would be drawn. Over at the feet of the bed, there will be a screen hanging from the ceiling, that is for the Mummy to view what is going on in the ultrasound scan. Beside the bed (on the right side), there will be the scanning machine and the gynae will scan and view the inputs from the little screen on his scanning machine.

The gynae found you fast (you are resting somewhat on the left side of Mummy's tummy) and commented that Everything looks a-okay and then added 'Hmm? I see something there.' This gave poor Mummy such a BIG fright! I thought we just cleared the OSCAR test, what could have happened and what could the gynae have seen? This is so frightening.

Then he said that 'Wait, let me see again.' After which, he happily announced that you are a boy! Oh My God! What a fright he had given me! I really worried for you and was wondering what could have happened. My dear baby.

The gynae then said that he wants to ensure that what he is seeing is not the umbilical cord and that it is really part of your manhood. Heh heh. So he did another clearer scan and at that moment, I think both your Daddy and myself saw it. There is something protruding out to which the gynae said that it looks like a fire hydrant! Haha, such humour. Mummy then sought to double confirm this and asked the gynae 'Usually at 15 weeks scan, the gender won't run right?'

The gynae replied 'No' and then added on that he is going to commit himself and typed 'I am a Boy' right next to the little fire hydrant! Haha!

Daddy and Mummy are ecstatic over the news even though we are not gender biased and had enjoyed your sister's company thoroughly. I guess the thought of you growing well and good is comforting enough, knowing your gender is a bonus. =)

We will have to wait for the detailed scan on 21 Dec 12, Friday for confirmation and regardless of what your gender is, you are still Daddy and Mummy's little dear. Please grow well and good, stay comfy and snug inside Mummy while I continue to nourish and take care of you. Stay safe and do not play with your umbilical cord and we shall see you well and good in time to come! May 13, I am so loving you! =)

OSCAR Test on 2 Nov 12, Friday

Finally, today is the day of our OSCAR Test. =)

Our appointment is at 0900hours but we have to report to the clinic for the drawing of maternal blood at 0840hours.

Well, we were slightly late and it doesn't help that the parking at TMC is relatively messy. We reached the clinic only at 0850hours. In the end, the clinic assistant decided to send us for the OSCAR test first and then have us return to the clinic for the blood test after the OSCAR.

We then proceeded to Level 4 for registration. The system for the registration and payment was relatively fuss free and quick too. We paid up the full $400+ for both the OSCAR and Detailed Scan (aka FA Scan aka A3 Scan) promptly and moved on to the waiting area inside the centre for our turn with the sonographer.

The wait was short too and after taking Mummy's height and weight, our queue number was called. The sonographer was relatively nice and proceeded to give instructions and have us settled down. However, you were not too 'helpful' and decided to give the sonographer a hard time, i.e by not being in the right position for her to take the measurements. Haha!

The measurements that she needs to take are simple, the NT values etc and then make a brief scan on the digits of your feet and hand etc. After staying inside the room for around 15 minutes, she decided to have Mummy empty the bladder in the hope of a better view (as I was really really bloated from downing the water as instructed by the centre assistant previously).

We returned to the room after this and this time round, it was slightly easier for her to have a little look-see without causing much discomfort to Mummy (imagine having someone press onto your tummy when it is filled with so so so much water).

The sonographer had to make some shaking movements on my tummy in order to make you turn to the right angle that she needed to take the measurements. This went on for quite some time before we were given the okay. After she had taken the measurements, she then showed us the screen and pointed our your little toes, fingers, feet and hand, blinking heart etc for Daddy and Mummy to view.

I am really really glad that the OSCAR test did not take up too much time as we had heard of one mummy having to stay at the centre for the whole day, from 0800hours to 1600hours because her baby was not cooperative. We sure won't want that as we needed to take lunch before rushing over to your sister's childcare for her birthday celebrations! =)

This is indeed a happy day for Daddy and Mummy! We get to see you again after such a long wait since our last appointment on 23 Oct 12, Tues. Looking forward to seeing you again soon, our dear! =)

Little Flutters, is it or is it not?

Yesterday night while Mummy was lying on the bed waiting for sleep to come, I thought that I had felt something in my tummy. It felt very mild, slightly ticklish and a little bit like rumblings in the tummy.

Given that I am a second time Mummy, it was widely mentioned on the Internet that we would be able to feel baby's movements much earlier, some as early as 13 weeks (while some first time mummies can only feel the movements around week 25, latest). But I am only 10 weeks 6 days today, wouldn't it be too early for me to feel your little movements? But those movements really felt slightly different from the usual rumblings of the stomach and Mummy had a whole packet of fried bee hoon and loads of water, so maybe the full bladder pushed the uterus up slightly such that Mummy can feel your little movements?

I guess I won't know if the movements belong to you but it sure is good to know that you are growing well inside of Mummy. =)

We Love You!

Our 2nd Appointment with You =)

The first appointment was made on 22 Sep 12, Sat when you were only 6 weeks old. Owing to the ultrasound scan being on the tummy instead of a V scan, we could only catch a glimpse of your sac in my uterus.

The second appointment was initially scheduled to be on 20 Oct 12, Sat. However, your 公公 had wanted to visit Genting Highlands from 19 Oct 12, Fri to 21 Oct 12, Sun, the appointment was re -scheduled.

We had not gone on any holidays for quite some time and even though this is a short trip to Genting Highlands, it is very much welcome. Moreover, 公公 had always wanted to go for Starcruise which is extremely expensive (costing around $1.2k for the 3 of us, i.e Daddy, Mummy and 姐姐）. So, when 公公 counter proposed Genting Highlands, everyone agreed to it. Haha.

Moving forward to the 2nd appointment with you, we popped by the clinic after my meeting and waited for around 30 minutes to 45 minutes before being ushered into the gynae's office.

When in the office, the gynae asked about how we were doing etc to which Mummy's reply was that, still okay and not much symptoms. He got that worried look on his face for a while and then said, 'Come, let's do a scan.'

The gel that he applied on my lower tummy was rather warm (Daddy later said that was because the gynae placed the ultrasound gel in a baby bottle warmer) and out came the probe.

We managed to see you the moment the probe was placed on the tummy. You were doing some dance inside there, moving forward and backward. It was indeed cute and interesting to see what you are doing inside. =) Your little stunt brought smiles to Daddy and Mummy's face and suddenly Mummy's eyes felt teary as I was overwhelmed by the feeling of relief and unexplained happiness and bliss the moment we saw you on the ultrasound screen.

The gyane took the measurements and you measured around 39mm for CRL (Crown Rump Length) thereby placing us at 10 weeks 5 days plus minus.

Next up would be the OSCAR scan on 2 Nov 12, Friday followed by the gynae appointment a good 3 weeks after the OSCAR scan. Hopefully in between the OSCAR scan and the next gynae appointment, Mummy would be able to feel your little movements inside my tummy. =)

First Trip Overseas with You in Mummy's tummy...

Dearie,


Our family will be going on a short trip to Genting Highlands from 19 Oct 12, Fri to 21 Oct 12, Sun with 公公，婆婆，阿姨and阿姨's boyfriend.

So looking forward to it, after Daddy's absence due to his reservist, finally we can relax for a while over the weekends. Haha.. Those few days when Daddy was not around was really tedious as Mummy and Sister have to wake up real early to rush for the transport. Good thing is 婆婆 always make it a point to get up as early as us to accompany us to the bus stop and helping Mummy to carry the bag while I manage your Sister.

Those days are now over, now it is time to reward ourselves and give us a short break. Hope that the trip will be enjoyable for all of us. =)

I will remember to take note of the food that I eat, to make sure that I do not attempt anything too extraordinary. =p

The days after we come back will be hectic, one was when we will be seeing you again on the ultrasound screen on 23 Oct 12. Hopefully Everything is alright with you inside and then we will need to plan for your Sister's Birthday Party in School, scheduled on 2 Nov 12 and coincidentally, see you again on 2 Nov 12 too as this is our OSCAR scan. =)

To tell you the truth, Mummy had had a very frightful dream or rather, nightmare last Thursday, when I dreamt that I went for the check up alone at a different clinic and was told that you are no longer with us. This is real real real scary to Mummy and it felt so weird, like you are so near (inside me) and yet so far... I really really really hope that reality and dreams are the exact opposite and that you are good, healthy and alive kicking and playing inside safely until your Estimated Arrival Date or my Estimated Due Date in mid May 13. Till then, our little sweetie.

P/S: I saw a video on Youtube which showed some old wives tale and there was one asking the Mummy to pull down the skin near the eye to see if there is a 'V' or 'Y' vein in the eye. If the red vein is in the left eye, it would mean that we are having a girl and if it is in the right eye, it will be a boy. I found the red vein at the bottom of my left eye, so my best guess is that you are our little sweetie girl! =)

By the way, I had gotten the doppler at home, much much earlier prior to us knowing of your presence. In fact, I had prepared a lot of stuffs for use during my pregnancy with you and for you when you are born etc. =) I was assured by the noise that I was hearing using the home use doppler until I noted that the noise that I had heard was actually the large artery passing through the pelvic and lower tummy region and does not count as your heartbeat. That got me really worried, especially after remembering that horrible nightmare. But I still continue to hope and pray that you will be good inside. Be good, our dearie...

Drank the soup that I have been craving for! =)

Dear Baby,


Mummy had been craving for the 猪心汤 for quite some time already and was thinking of buying and boiling the soup myself sometime back but I just can't bring myself to touch the raw meat.. So in the end, I told your 婆婆 that I have this craving and 婆婆 double boiled the soup yesterday night! =)

婆婆 also got up early this morning and packed the soup into the Thermos container for Mummy this morning. Heh heh, 婆婆 initially wanted to give me a bigger container to bring to office so that I can drink it the whole day but Mummy was thinking that I want to leave some for tonight. Hence, I said that a smaller container would suffice. Well, how wrong I was! I finished the soup already and it is not even 9:15 am. I had thought that I can keep it till near lunch before I drink the soup but it is just so so so tempting. =p

For the past few days, or rather, ever since we moved over to 婆婆's place since 26 Sep 12, 婆婆 had been accompanying Mummy and your sister to the bus stop to wait for the transport. Along the way, 婆婆 will help Mummy carry the bag as Mummy is carrying your sleepy sister. That is super considerate and kind of your 婆婆 to help out so that Mummy will not be strained too much. That is also thinking for you, our little baby who is in Mummy's tummy. =)

We Love You So Much! Do grow well and snug inside and we will all look forward to seeing you in May 13 next year, to a happy, crying and kicking you! =)

1 Oct 12, Mon

Do you know that when Mummy was young, or rather during my schooling time, 1 Oct is the much awaited Children's Day! =)

On this day, we will not need to go to school and the good thing is that prior to this day, the school will have some form of celebrations/ performances and the teachers may give some little gifts to us kids. =)

But recently, or rather a couple of years back, the date for Children's Day had been changed to the 1st Friday of October along with the change in Teacher's Day from 1 Sep to the 1st Friday of Sep.


We should be 7 weeks already but I am still unable to locate your heartbeat on the fetal doppler that I have at home. Guess we can only see you again and observe how you grow in our next appointment. Hopefully Everything will be good and you are growing well inside Mummy.

I am hoping that I am one of the lucky ones who do not experience much pregnancy discomforts but at the same time, it kinda left Mummy slightly unsettled as I am unable to feel you. Guess I will only relax when we manage to see you during the next scan and also when am in the 2nd and 3rd trimester when I can feel you.

I Love You! Grow Well Inside and Looking Forward to Seeing A Healthy Crying You in 8 months time! =)

2nd day of Daddy's Reservist/ 2nd day of Mummy and Sister staying over at Po Po's place

Let's start off the day with a I Love You! =)

Today is the second day whereby Mummy and Sister is bunking over at Po Po's place. The reason being your Daddy's away for Reservist and there is no way that Mummy can handle your Sister, my bag along the walk to MRT Station, MRT ride, Bus ride followed by a long walk to office.

Hence, we adopted what we did last year, to stay over at Po Po's place and then book the transport at Po Po's place. (Note: There is no private transport to office from our home..)

The cost of the transport had increased by quite a fair bit from last year's. Last year, we were charged $80 and your Sister and Mummy were given a seat to share. It is only when someone actually is not taking the transport for that day that we will get an extra seat.

This time round, the transport cost that was quoted as $120. Oh well, there is no way that Mummy can reject this, as what Daddy said. Reason being, no matter what, we will need the transport. -_-

So Mummy started packing up for the stay over and below is the list of items that we brought over:
- IKEA High Chair with tray table
- 1 luggage full of Mummy's clothes and your Sister's clothes
- Stroller
- Water bottles
- Milk powder
- Milk bottle etc

Mummy is counting down the days to meeting you again via the ultrasound on 20 Oct 12, that seems like a long way to go. Never mind, I shall try out the doppler again over the weekend and hope that I can find your heartbeat soon. =)

By the way, you are very funny and cute, do you know that? Yesterday, Mummy was still telling Po Po that I am glad that you and your Sister are both so nice to Mummy during the pregnancy etc, that I did not feel much symptoms. =p In return, your Po Po replied with a 'Choy Choy', i.e touchwood as she was afraid that after I said this, I may start experience all the symptoms of pregnancy etc. =p

True enough, that very night, the extreme fatigue returned again, such that Mummy was feeling real real real tired by 9 pm. Imagine, 9 pm! That is real early for my bedtime. As your Daddy popped over to Po Po's house (they were allowed to return home and book in the next morning for this whole week), Mummy tried my best to stay awake till past 9 pm but in the end, succumbed to the sleep bug and concussed at 9+ pm, leaving your Sister in the care of your Daddy. -_-


I have a feeling that I will be experiencing the same fatigue tonight again. =p

1st glimpse of you in your home aka sac in Mummy's warm and comfy tummy on 22 Sep 12, Sat =)

Finally, the long awaited appointment has arrived!! =)

It has been such a long wait.. The reason for the wait is that we discovered your presence at around 4 weeks, on 4 Sep 12 and the gynae would definitely say that you are too too small to be seen on their screen and that the only way to know that you are growing would be via blood test, i.e taking of the HCG Beta levels over 2 consecutive days as in a healthy pregnancy, the Beta HCG should double every 2 days. =)

However, Mummy has a more economical way of testing this. Heh heh, to allay my fears and to make myself less stress over the constant worrying on whether are you alright in there, while waiting for the appointment, I made sure that I peed on the HPT daily every morning! =) It has become a ritual for me for that week. Haha..

I only stopped the peeing on the HPT when there is no darkening of the test line, guess that is the maximum HCG that the test kit can take. =p Occasionally, I will test on the OPK too as there had been articles online saying that the HCG will turn a OPK positive too and positive it turned! Strong positive some more! Haha, it feels real good to know that you are growing well inside.

Well, fast forward to 22 Sep 12, we skipped breakfast that day in order to make it in time for our Appointment at 10:00 am at TLC Clinic. Mummy has studied the net and chose Dr Paul Tseng as the gynae that will look after the both of us, Mummy and You, this time round. Reason being, I really hope that I will be able to give birth to you naturally as I had an emergency c-sect for your Sister due to no dilation.

Apparently, after discussing on the things to look out for when attempting Vaginal Birth After C-sect (VBAC), the condition is that you cannot grow to too big a size and Durian is a total No-no. =(

Next up is what we had been waiting for for so long! The ultrasound scan! =) A pity that Dr Tseng does not want to do a Vaginal Scan (V-Scan) as for such young pregnancy, V Scan would be able to offer a better glimpse of you. Nevertheless, we proceeded with the abdominal scan and saw the sac at the right place, i.e my uterus! =)

All those worrying that we might have an ectopic (implantation at the tubes etc, anywhere outside the uterus) or scar ectopic (implantation at the previous c-sect scar; read about this only recently when one Mummy shared her experience in the forum) was finally allayed and I then heaved a huge sigh of relief. Phew.

The sac measured 11.92mm at 6w0d and gynae scheduled the next appointment on 20 Oct 12, Saturday. Mummy is really hoping fervently that we can see you growing healthily and happily with a strong heartbeat in time to come! =)

The visit had helped to remove some of the fears but still left me with some as the basics of a baby, i.e the fetal pole and the yolk is nowhere to be seen in the scan. However, the gynae is pretty nonchalant about it and states that you are still too young. Well, I guess I can only trust the gynae and believe in you now! I will have and keep the faith! =)


In the meanwhile, Mummy shall continue using the doppler system to try to detect your heartbeat as once there is a heartbeat detected, it can then be confirmed that the fetal pole and the yolk is definitely there for to nourish you and allow you to grow! =)

Well, ahem, the doppler is said to be meant from 12 weeks on, but I just can't wait and tried it the night itself (in fact, Mummy already dug out the doppler the night before and was frantically trying to locate your heartbeat, but it is really a tough job as you are just too small now and have so so so much room to move inside. =p) and true enough, Mummy still can't find your heartbeat. Well nevermind, I shall try not to stress myself out and will use the doppler again next week, when you will be nearing week 7. =)

Oh, there is something that Mummy wants to tell you. I have read online that Vitamin B Complex is good and hence, had bought some from the Pharmacy, but then some other websites offered contradicting information, stating that it is best not to be consumed during pregnancy whereas some other website said to consume in moderation.

Confused, I made a check with the gynae and he gave the Okay! =) So Mummy is currently taking the folic acid as well as the Vitamin B pills religiously every morning! =) Hope that you will be good, grow well and see you next year, happy and kicking, a strong baby in May 2013! =)

Mummy Loves You! Daddy Loves You! Sister Loves You too! =x

Small Orange Dot

Little Baby, Mummy is wondering what are you doing inside and if you are fine and happy inside? Know the reason why Mummy is asking? Today, I spotted another orange dot, which is a bit watery but the color is discernible.

This is the second time that I have spotted odd colored discharge when Mummy is carrying you. I know that discharge is relatively common during pregnancy but I think I had none with your sister which is why this is pretty worrying. I just hope that Everything with you is fine and well. After all, we will be meeting for the first time this coming Saturday, 22 Sep 12 via the ultrasound scan.

Mummy would like to say 'I Love You' here and Thank You for appearing or rather letting us know of your presence in Sep 12, as per our agreement. You are our little sweetie and We Love You.

Now, the next BIG STEP would be for you to stay comfortably well and snug inside Mummy and then see you in May 13! =) Looking forward to having you, our little bundle of joy crying and kicking in our arms. =)

Another dreary Monday

Today's another Monday again and Mummy is feeling tired out.

Totally not looking forward to going to work. Sigh, there are many things to handle in the office and it seems so daunting but still, if I do not attend to it today, my colleague will need to take over and that would be added load on her and also if I do not work today, the work will still need to be cleared upon my return. -_-

Time now is 11:12 am and you gave Mummy a scare just now! ='(

I wiped and saw some watery discharge which looks pinkish/orange/yellowish and it totally freaked me out. What is happening?? I have no feel and can't view what's inside but I surely hope that you are well and good inside. =(

I don't know if I am scaring myself or what as now I tend to examine all the minute details and with this keen observation, it can totally freak one out.

The 1st appointment with the gynae would be this coming Saturday when you would be around 6 weeks, should I pop by to another gynae tonight after work, for a scan and to make sure that you are alright or should I try to compose myself and wait it out till the appointment on Saturday?

In the meanwhile, I will try to stay composed and calm myself down (easier said than done.. sadly..) and I will have a decision soon once my mind is cleared of all the messy thoughts.

I have read online that stress may also contribute to some pinkish discharge, else it could be the uterus expansion or the embryo burrowing in further etc. The reasons behind this are many and I have no way to know for sure, but if it is stress that is causing it, I have find the source of the stress and get it over and done with.

I must stay and remain a Happy Mummy, for you, I will.

Our Weekends, 15th ~ 16th Sep 12

Well, Mummy thinks that I should let you know this, how our days were spent as you are part of us now and should know how our lives are etc.

15 Sep 12, Saturday is the last day of the 7th lunar month as well as the birthday of a close friend of Mummy.

Breakfast is standard @ MacDonald's, much to the delight of your sister. We had 'conveniently' forgot to give her a second serving of milk (only had one when she woke up in the morning) which lead to her good appetite for breakfast. =)

Else, if she were to have her 2nd helping of milk, she will definitely reject breakfast. Well, we are glad that she had a hearty breakfast that day.

After the breakfast, we went to pick up some small parcels at Singpost and then headed off home to rest. Your sister slept for around 2 hours from 12 noon to 2+ pm and Mummy stayed in the room with her while your Uncle aka Your Daddy's Brother came over to play soccer on the PS3 together.

We then got ourselves prepared to go out after your Uncle left and then hurried off downstairs to offer prayers as this is the last day of the 7th lunar month. It is really no joke shuttling between the prayers and having to keep a lookout for where your sister is. Being the young toddler that she is (@ only 2 years 10 months), she really loves to wander around. We really freaked out when we can't spot her anywhere, turned out she was standing behind the columns nearby. -_-" If only we can deposit her somewhere while we make prayers, but sigh, we have no such luck and MIL is totally of no help or rather not interested to help out at all.

Enough of those disappointing updates, let's move on to our program after that. We headed off to Tiong Bahru Plaza where Mummy got a cake for Aunty MF and a party hat to add to the happy occasion. Later Daddy drove us to Vivo City and park the car there before boarding onto colleague's car as they have free entry into Sentosa island and we are planning to meet first too, prior to meeting the other peeps. =)

Over @ Sentosa USS, we met up with another couple, i.e MF's secondary school friend and then sprung a surprise birthday party for MF! =)

Unfolding of Event
Plan: The 4 of us will split into twos and will approach the birthday girl from 2 directions. Each pax will sing a line from the Happy Birthday song.
The first pax will hold the cake, the 1st pax opposite will hold the candle and the lighter, the 2nd pax will hand MF the party hat while the last pax will pass the birthday girl the knife for the cake! =)

What actually happened
Well, things doesn't really go according to plan but it still fulfilled the aim of giving MF a surprise! =) MF's hb was actually trying to get her attention focused on a particular direction. After which, the 4 of us gathered together and then sang her a Birthday song. So when MF turned around after hearing the Birthday song, she saw the 4 friends standing behind her, one holding a cake, another a candle and lighter, third a party hat and fourth, the knife for the cake.

Surprise her we did! She was pretty touched when she saw us and I must say we attracted some attention from the visitors to USS.

Later on, we went over to Carrefour's closing down sale at Suntec City together with Mummy's colleague and scooped up 8 bottles of the distilled water, in preparation of our Taiwan trip early next year.

16 Sep 12, Sunday
We lazed around at home until 11+am before moving out for lunch @ a foodcourt near PoPo's place. Following lunch, we popped by to PoPo's place where your sister entertained your GongGong during the time that we were there.

After PoPo prepared herself, we left for OG Orchard where they are having a annual 20% sale and their card renewal session. The total damage was $385 and each membership application requires $75 minimal spending, so for our total spend, we can apply for a total of 5 cards! =)

The 5 cards goes to Daddy, Mummy, PoPo, Ah Yi and Xiao Jiu.

We reached there at around 2+pm and only left around 7+pm.

Our loot comprises of the following:
- 4 pants for Mummy ( $29 *3 pairs & $39.90 *1 pair)
- Playdoh dough (2 packs of 10 containers for $18)
- Playdoh mini set (2 sets for $9)
- A pair for shoes for Mummy @ $29
- Dora panties 6 pcs @ $13.90 for your Sister
- Bobdog panties 3 pcs @ $3.90 for your Sister
- 2 shirts and a pants @ $10 for you
- 2 pairs of Dora shoes for your Sister (a pair @ $15 and a pair @ $15.90)

=)

心痛，我需要为了你多照顾自己

你知道吗？常常被你没办法控制的事件或人物绑住是多么的辛苦啊！

可以的话，我真得很希望我能打从心里的放下，但是说得比做得容易。

小宝宝，妈妈真的好担心你哦，希望最近的伤心，心情的起伏不定不会剥夺你在妈妈体内的快乐成长。

我爱你，为了你，我应该为你多负起多点责任。让自己快乐点，不被烦事拉倒。

或许，我应该为你许下些承诺如下：
1。需要保持心情愉快才能有个快乐的宝宝
2。多多照顾自己才能实现我自己的梦想，就是自然生产
3。不被烦事困扰
4。上下班要规划的好好，不有任何的瓜葛。下班了，就不再像上班事，要忘了所有的同事
5。记得与在妈妈肚子里的宝宝沟通，让彼此安心及舒缓急躁的心情
6。每天说一句我爱你 =）

我们爱你哦，爸爸妈妈的小宝宝！

Stress Management

Well, this week is not a good one for Mummy.

Somehow I got agitated very easily, whereby I will be angry one moment and crankily happy the next. Sigh, guess this is what pregnancy does to one.

But seriously, you are affecting Mummy in such cute and strange ways than your Sister. Be it good or bad, I will accept all these as best as I can.

Basically, Mummy has been coming to work for the whole of this week, unsettled. Not sure of what will happen, considering that I gave my very true feedback to the Big Boss only to have all refuted with his/ her perception that everything is well and good and that the offending person is Goddess.

Since I can't fight it, I might as well accept it, but the worse thing is that I was given the tall order of making the first step to initiate a heart to heart discussion with the other person. This has been the cause of my stress for the past few days and I really do not wish to carry on this burden anymore,  so I searched online on Stress Management and found some good suggestions.

Let's hope that something good will come out of the 'forced' discussion.

12 dpo on 4 Sep 12 and A Surprise!! =)

Well, Mummy tested for your presence over the weekend on 1 Sep 12, 9 dpo and it was a blank at the test line, only the control line was there, strikingly bold. =(

The only consolation that I can give myself is that maybe it is still early, that is why, we are unable to detect you on the HPT. But Mummy had a weird feel, like somehow I know that you are inside me, but I am afraid to believe and to throw myself into that belief because if  my thoughts of you are purely my make-believe or my strong desire for you, it would be real saddening when the flow comes as expected on 9 Sep 12, Sunday.

The odds are relatively low, considering the following:
- that we had only managed to BD on 23 Aug 12 and 25 Aug 12 itself

Chance Booster:
- Ovulation occurred relatively early on CD 16
- BD session on 23 Aug 12 once the OPK turned positive. Assuming the spermies need 12 hours to go through the capacitation process and that ovulation will occur 12 hours to 36 hours after the positive surge and then lives for another 12 hours to 24 hours, we may still have a shot here
- I had diligently taken the TCM, went for Accupuncture, boiled Ba Zhen Soup and took 益母草etc to build up my body to create a conducive environment for your implantation and growth

Chance Downer:
- For spermies to go through the capacitation process, the conducive cervical mucus is very important to coat them with this protective covering for the swim upwards

Well, after testing negative on 9 dpo, I had decided to skip testing until 14 dpo, i.e 6 Sep 12, but what prompted me to take the test earlier on 12 dpo was due to your Daddy's comical mix-up.

Here goes:
Mummy wanted to re-test again on Monday morning but was afraid of seeing yet another negative and then wasting another test kit along the way, so what I did was to re-use the test kit for 1 Sep 12. When the results is yet another negative, I proceeded to throw away all the OPKs and HPTs that were used for this cycle (meant to keep them initially to take photos of the many of them when we get pregnant this cycle) and keeping only the positive OPK that reminds me of our try for this cycle.

Your Daddy, while bathing on Monday night, spotted the positive OPK and came out excitedly after his shower and nudged a sleepy Mummy, saying 'Your HPT turned positive and it is a very strong line!' I was skeptical and replied 'Are you sure? What color is the HPT? (the OPK is characterized by a green tip at the top while the HPT is blue)' Guess your Daddy's reply? 'Blue'.

That got Mummy very excited and all that I can think was that the HPT that I re-used turned positive!! I got out of bed and took a look at the test kit. How disappointing was it. The color tip was green, i.e that was the OPK and not the HPT. Daddy came over and of course I questioned him on this and his reply was that the packaging was blue (the test kit was resting on its opened packaging which had a big blue box in the middle) and your Daddy had mistaken that as blue!! -_-

Disappointed, I got back to bed but with my curiosity aroused, I decided to test the next morning. What came out came as a shock, instead of the usual white base, there was a faint test line there!! =)

Mummy then rushed out of the bathroom and told Daddy to come quick. He got out of bed immediately and saw the faint line too! My eyes are not playing tricks on me! =) But as the test kit was from the old batch and expiring in Sep 12, Daddy said to use other test kit to verify the results, which we then did. The line on Clearblue came out immediately albeit faint (but still darker than the other 2 test kit) while the HPT from the new batch came up slower and fainter.

This is indeed a pleasant surprise! =) What a great way to brighten up our morning! I am carrying you inside my tummy and there you will stay, comfortable, warm and snug for the next 9 months before coming out crying and meeting your parents and your sister for the first time, somewhere in May 13. =)

Summary of this Cycle... What was done...

Well, CD 1 started on 7 Aug 12, Tuesday late afternoon, dashing hopes for last cycle.

For this cycle, what we did different or what we added on to what was done previously

- Drinking of the Ba Zhen Soup （八珍汤） on 11 Aug 12 and 18 Aug 12

- Drinking of the 益母草on 21 Aug 12 and planning to drink again on 23 Aug 12 when Ovulation was observed on 23 Aug 12 itself.

- Went for accupuncture on 11 Aug 12 and 18 Aug 12

- Took TCM from 11 Aug 12 onwards till Ovulation Day

- Monitored on the Clearblue Fertility Monitor (prompted for test sticks from CD 10 till CD 18)

- Monitored daily on the normal OPKs from CD 12 onwards (standard twice daily and upping to 4 times after sighting the watery CM)

- Drinking the chia seed concoction (basically it is white and black chia seeds added to water) daily

- Drinking anti -oxidant tea during working days

- Took cereals and orange juice sporadically from 21 Aug 12

- Took lots of eggs in meals, e.g fried egg for dinner if your Daddy cooks, added boiled eggs to the 2nd round of Ba Zhen Soup （八珍汤）and diligently finishing the egg as it was noted online that consuming egg white will help in the maturing of the follicle

- Taking Nature's Wonders Baked USA Walnuts from 27 Aug 12 to help with the implantation (Online information was saying that Brazilian Nuts will help but am unable to find them in the supermarkets)

- Taking the Ginseng Chicken Soup on 26 Aug 12 (pre -packed ingredients/ herbs bought from Hock Hua) and instead of adding normal white chicken, we added half a black chicken instead as the latter has higher nutritional value and the costs work out to be the same as the normal white chickens (The pre -packed ingredients call for 1.5litres of water with 300grams of meat. If we were to add the chicken tight weighing around 300grams to the soup, it will costs around $3 whereas if the black chicken which costs $5+ were spread into 2 portions, one portion for this week's soup and another portion for next week's soup, the average cost is only $2.50+)

- We have the 田七汤and the 人参炖鸡汤pre -packed ingredients at home but read online that the former is not suitable for pregnancy woman. Hence, I am skipping that soup for now.

- Using pre-seed

What makes me proud of this cycle a.k.a the improvements that I see for this cycle:

- Last cycle I ovulated at CD 25 which the gynae commented that the quality of the egg may not be that good as it took too long for it to get released. This time round, I was actually aiming for Ovulation to occur within CD 20 BUT I ovulated on CD 16, i.e 22 Aug 12 which is very near to normalcy! =)
[For those with normal 28 days cycle and assuming a standard Luteal Phase of 14 days, the ovulation will be on CD 14. Hence, for my ovulation on CD 16, it is very near to that of a normal cycle!]
- So, the mood was really heightened as if the cycle manages to get shortened, it would mean that I will have my chances upped! Now, I will get the same number of chances as per others who have their cycle regularly! =)
- Another thing that I am so hyper over is that with the ovulation on CD 16, I am hoping and praying that the quality of the egg will be good enough for fertilization. =)

The odds:

 - For this cycle, we had managed to BD only on 2 days, once on CD 16 itself and another on CD 19. Not sure if this will reduce our chance
- Also, it was noted from online readings that the troops will undergo a process called sperm capacitation and it takes around half hour for the fastest to do so. What this translates into is that if the troops had not undergone that transformation and the ovulation had already occurred, they would not be able to fertilize the egg. Hence, time must be given for them to undergo this process. Only plus point is that the troops will undergo this process at different rates, so some will go through it faster while others at a later time. So this will allow different set of troops to fertilize the waiting egg
- The other thing that I am unable to measure would be the uterine lining. According to different gynaes, a thickness of 7mm is preferred for the fertilized egg to implant (着床). This cannot be told of by the OPKs or any other tools except only if one were to visit the gynae for a ultrasound scanning.
- I have read online that chasteberry (Vitex; 蔓荆子) will help with the lining but was not in time to get it. Hence, if things were to fail again this cycle (touch wood, touch wood), I will try to get the chasteberry to complete or complement the rest of what I was doing.

The news:

Based on my luteal phase of 16 days (have checked through my old records, the luteal phase is 16 days add on to the day after I last tested positive on the OPK, so this time round, the positive came around on 22 Aug 12 and then on 23 Aug 12, it was back to negative, so 23 Aug 12 shall be the 1st day to start the count from. As the ovulation kit that was used for this cycle was different from the previous cycle, I am not sure if the level of sensitivity differs too, i.e the previous batch could have been more sensitive such that I would still test positive on 23 Aug 12 but not on this new batch. Oh well, there is no way of verifying, so I will accept 23 Aug 12 as my 1dpo).

Based on the count, if we were to get lucky and succeed for this round, we will know of the results by 8 Sep 12. If we did not succeed, 8 Sep 12 will be the day that the much dreaded flow will begin and we will have to re -start our To Do list again and renew our hope that this cycle will be the different one resulting in a pregnancy.

We Love You, Our Dear Baby. When will you let us have you such that we can hold a kicking and happy you in our arms a good 9 months later?

Clearblue Fertility Monitor

This time round, I have the much lauded Clearblue Fertility Monitor to assist and help me out for this cycle. Basically what this monitor does is to take the guessing game out of the usage of the normal OPKs. Why? Because now I do not have to put the sticks under the light and try to figure out if the test line is darker or as dark as the control line. The monitor will be doing the assessment and reading on behalf. Pricey for the job that it will do, but anything goes and I will repeat here again, as long as we can have well and alive, kicking, crying and smiling a good 9 months later in our warm and secure arms.

However, the monitor started to get me down a few days later, at around CD 15. It will not prompt for test sticks too early in the cycle as some may still be having their flow etc. Hence, it only started asking for test sticks from CD 10 onwards. CD 10, test stick reading was Low Fertility. Oh well, the flow just ended about a week back, this result is kinda expected.

CD 11, CD 12, CD 13, CD 14 and CD 15 came and went and the monitor still place me at the Low Fertility. -_- There are another 2 levels to go, i.e High Fertility and Peak Fertility. If I keep on loitering at the Low Fertility level, how long will it take to jump the ranks? If I do not jump the ranks soon, the quality of the follicle/ egg will then be regarded as low (Ovulation on CD 25 for the last cycle was perceived to be 'low quality' by the gynae) and I will then not attain the goal of keeping the ovulation to be within CD 20.

Another try.. Aug 12 cycle

Cycle start date: 7 Aug 12, Tuesday
~ had spotting and was hoping for the best, trying to convince myself that it is the implantation bleed but the flow soon thicken and hopes for the cycle died along with the increased flow

Cycle Day 1: 8 Aug 12, Wednesday
~ due to the extremely light flow (which only started in the evening) on 7 Aug 12, the cycle day 1 is taken to be this date instead. Started on the Clearblue Fertility Monitor for added help for this cycle.
Things that will be continued: TCM Accunpuncture, Ba Zhen soup for the 2 weeks prior to Ovulation, reduced cold drinks intake etc

Aim for this cycle: to reduce the cycle length
Info: last cycle the O day was on CD 25 which the gynae already considered it to be old. Add on to that my long luteal phase of 16 days, the whole cycle length will be 42. The hope is to be able to cut short the FSH stage and encourage follicle maturity and ovulation hopefully, by CD 20, so with the luteal phase of 17 days, the cycle length will be reduced to 37 days.

Accupuncture sessions: 11 Aug 12 on CD 4 and 18 Aug 12 on CD 11. One funny thing that is worth a mention is that after going for TCM on 2 consecutive weeks, the TCM practitioner was asking on 18 Aug 12 if I will want to book an appointment. Guess my reply? 'Hopefully I will ovulate by the coming week and if I do, I will not go back for any sessions during the 2 weeks wait. But if I fail, I will return 2 weeks later.' Her response? 'Jiayou and Good Luck to you.'

With that, I left the TCM place on my own (Daddy was at home with your sister waiting for my parcel hence, they cannot accompany me out). I bought the chicken rice home as our dinner along the way back.

I am not sure why, but for the last 2 sessions, the needles seemed to be poked further and deeper in such that there will be slight pain at the lower abdomen area. But anything goes, as long as we will have you kicking and happy in our arms a long 9 months later.

6 Aug 12, Yet another Monday, yet another BFN

Well, the weekend was pretty okay. We were quite well -rested, I would say.

Nothing is new, the HPT still tested negative on both Saturday and Sunday. Meanwhile, one Mummy announced her pregnancy on the motherhood forum and your Father started to call her by her nick and added a prefix 'lucky' to her nick. So basically, the Mummy is now know as 'lucky xxx'.

When will we get our lucky turn? Not this cycle, I had given up hope for this cycle as there had been a nagging heavy feel at the pelvis area, which somehow I seem to know that it would be the flow reporting soon. Anyway, the flow is expected to report on Monday. With my luteal phase of 16 days, the flow can be predicted to report on 16 DPO like clockwork but not you, our #2.

Seriously, we have no idea when you will report and if you will ever come too. The wait is unbearable at times. I have given up for this cycle but your Daddy is still clinging on to the hope that as long as the flow has yet to report, there is still a chance. I hope that he is right.

12 dpo, 2 Aug 12, Thursday.. Yet another negative on the HPT

Today is the 12 dpo and there is still no sign of your presence to be seen on the HPT.

Oh well, I guess this is not the month... The trying to conceive journey has not been smooth and sometimes it can be a bit daunting too, with the many negatives and sometimes it feels like being on a emotional roller coaster..

Basically, the following would be an excerpt of what generally happens during the cycle..

CD = Cycle Day
AF = Aunt Flow aka Menstrual Flow
DPO = Days Past Ovulation
OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit
HPT = Home Pregnancy Test
2WW = 2 weeks wait

CD 1 to CD 3: AF
CD 4 to CD 5: Remnants of AF, i.e spotting
CD 10 onwards: Mummy will start testing on the OPK (twice a day, once around 10+ am and another time around 4+ pm). The testing can be slightly difficult during working days as the OPK that I am using requires the collection of the urine and it would be so so so obvious if I were to carry a small container along with me when I go to the washroom plus the collection would be messy. Hence, I have decided to make use of those disposable soup spoon with a huge base instead. The long handle will allow one to hold onto the spoon with being splattered while the depth of the spoon will allow the required collection of the urine sample.
1st Positive on the OPK: It is bonding time! =)
1 dpo onwards: We will wait around anxiously for the results, interpreting any slight symptoms as being a sign of pregnancy.
9 dpo onwards: Crazy testing on the HPT. Each time a negative is obtained nearer to the end of the 2WW, our hearts will sink lower and lower

The cycle repeats again if a sea of red came instead of the positive on the HPT. Imagine going through this cycle each time...

11 dpo... Mummy's mood in the Afternoon

Mummy has a date with your Daddy for lunch! =)

That brightened up my mood considerably. It is indeed a welcome break from the drudgery work.

Hmm, to digress a bit, actually I came across the word 'drudgery' previously when reading through some books but this is the first time I am actually using it.

Feeling a bit proud of myself for knowing a new word but at the same time lamenting that 'when did my good habit of reading disappear?' such that I cannot really remember when was the last time that I actually picked up a book to read?

That leaves me with a tinge of sadness that when life progresses, one will lose touch of certain things that used to bring one such happiness. I hope that you will not encounter all these that we are facing now (trying hard to conceive you, losing touch with the little things that are important) and your Daddy and Mummy wish you All the Best in whatever it is that you choose to undertake.

I believe that you will be able to achieve much more than us and yet find a balance to work and life as well as your inner well -being (peace).


For now, we will need to find to find our inner peace to deal with what will greet us on 6 Aug 12, Monday, be it a sea of red or a positive on the HPT that we have been eagerly awaiting.

11 dpo... 1 Aug 12, Wednesday

As the title said, today is 11 dpo already.

Cannot resist testing yet again.. Guess what's the result? No sign of you yet again. By 11 dpo, 76% of the pregnant mummies would have know of the existence of the little beanie inside, but not for us, I guess.

Even though we hope to hear from you soon and the repeated negative can get us so down, but we remain hopeful still. After all, it is this hope that keeps us going, as long as you don't crush this hope of ours on the date of the expected flow.

I am not sure how long we can take this repeated 'rejection' from you. What is it that we are doing that is not enough to warrant your presence inside the welcoming womb? Now I really start to wonder if I will ever get to realise my dream of having 3 kids or more, if Number 2 does not want to come, how can I have Number 3 and more?

As age catches up on us, the chance of us ever meeting you is diminished.

10 days past ovulation (dpo)

Today is 10 dpo..

Unlike the past few days, whereby we tested almost every other day wanting to know of your presence earlier but all of which told a different story, we did not do any further test on the HPT since 30 Jul 12, Monday.

This is because, the nearer we are to the end of the 2 weeks wait, the more the results will be finalised. So meaning, if we were to get a negative now, there will be no hope for us to cling on to that it may have been a false negative.

If you want to know the probability that the results (data collated from pregnant ladies) will be finalised by the respective days past ovulation, you can refer to the website countdowntopregnancy which Mummy had been frequenting.

So, when we tested on the following dates:

28 Jul 12, Saturday: 7 dpo (20.7% would have tested positive with 79.3% getting false negative)
29 Jul 12, Sunday: 8 dpo (29.7% would have tested positive with 70.3% getting false negative)
30 Jul 12, Monday: 9 dpo (46% would have tested positive with 54% getting false negative)

Thus, when we failed to detect your presence on 7, 8 and 9 dpo, we can still hold on to the 54% chance. But if we were to test on 10 dpo, the chance dropped to only 36.3% if we were to test  negative again.

31 Jul 12, Tuesday: 10 dpo (63.7% would have tested positive with 36.3% getting false negative)

Do you understand our fear? That after all our efforts, everything may come to naught and with the next cycle, we will have to work at it again, just for a shot of having you.

The estimated due date of the next flow will be on 6 Aug 12, Monday. If there is still no flow by then, we will be almost sure that we have you where we wanted you to be, in your cosy nest for the next 9 months and into our warm and caring arms after the 9 months nurturing in my tummy!Wish Us Luck and looking forward to seeing you soon!

6 Aug 12, Monday: 16 dpo (87.8% would have tested positive with 12.2% getting false negative)

I would hope we will have happy news to share with you in your blog on 6 Aug 12, Monday.

Charting of Basal Body Temperature...

Do you know that, for you, Mummy had signed up for TCM Accupuncture, took the nasty tasting TCM, bought tons of OPK (100s, 100s followed by 200s) and even invested in a pre -loved Clearblue Fertility Monitor (costing $300+ in Watsons/ Guardian; $200+ in online shops, such as Gmarket aka Qoo10, Tiny-shop etc) and the Fertility Monitor Test Sticks (costing $85+ for a box of 20 test sticks in Watsons/ Guardian).

Today: 30 Jul 12, Monday (Part II)

After leaving the clinic, we were still discussing on where to go and Mummy then made a request to Daddy to go for the TCM Accupuncture in the hope that it can help the follicle mature in time as in view of the condition (irregular menses and all), a chance like this is hard to come by.

Also, since the gynae is willing to do follicular tracking on Saturday, it would be good to have the follicle mature within the set time frame as Mummy is really not willing to give this chance up. Not this chance nor any other chance. Chance once given, is to be taken with our All and not to be given up.

So off to the TCM Accupuncture we go.

Today: 30 Jul 12, Monday (Part I)

Let's recap on what have we done for our Jul 12 cycle.

Daddy and your Sister accompanied Mummy to a gynae on 19 Jul 12, Thursday for follicular tracking or rather an ultrasound with consultation to understand how best we can get you soon.

The waiting time was okay as we were pre-empted in advance that it may take up to 2 hours. So we wandered around the place and then walked to Cineleisure for breakfast.

Daddy ordered Bak Kut Teh for us while your Sister thrive on her milk, refusing to take the rice and all maybe due to her bad cold and blocked nose, I supposed.

After our breakfast, we slowly strolled back to the clinic and waited patiently for our turn.

Finally our turn came and below was what transpired:

Gyn: Hi, what can I do for you?

Mum: We are trying for our Number 2 but have no luck/ news so far and was wondering if you could help us with it etc?
Gyn: Sure, but as with all fertility consultations, I will need to find out more information from you. How old are you, Mummy?
Mum: Okay, sure. I am 31 years old while he is 34 years old. Basically, we have been trying for our second child since Dec 11 but there was no news yet. I have monitored using the Ovulation Predictor Kit (OPK) diligently and identified the Luteinizing Hormone (LH) Surge and then proceeded to carry out our activity but there was no news yet. I have the PCOS giving me irregular menses but that has regularised after the birth of our first child but when we started on our trying to conceive (TTC) journey, the menstrual cycle turned haywire again.

Gyn: Okay, but for your first child, was she conceived naturally and how long did it take you both to conceive her?

Mum: Actually it was quite fast, I would say within half a year or so and she was conceived naturally.

Gyn: Okay, then Daddy, I assume that you are a healthy Male. Do you smoke or drink etc?

Dad: No, I do not smoke nor drink.

Gyn: Okay. Then in that case, maybe we can scan Mummy first before we discuss further?

Mum: Okay, but would you be doing the tummy ultrasound of vaginal scan (V Scan)?

Gyn: I will be doing the V scan, it is clearer.

Mummy then proceed to the chair besides the ultrasound machine while Daddy carried your Sister and stood nearby.

Gyn: See, Mummy, those black patches on the screen, they are signs of PCOS.

Mum: Okay, so is there any maturing follicle?

Gyn: There is one here, but measures only 14.5mm. It is not considered as mature yet.

Mum: So, what would be considered as a mature follicle?

Gyn: Usually the minimum is 18mm, so give it 2 to 3 days time, it should grow and mature.

With that and some other scan on the uterues and the lining (7mm), the ultrasound scan ended and we all moved back to the consultation area.

Mum: So, if the follicle were to mature, can we have the HCG jab to trigger the release of the egg, i.e ovulation?

Gyn: Yes, we can but considering that this is Cycle Day (CD) 24 and the follicle is not mature yet, the quality may not be good.

Mum: (thinking that true, as in for a normal 28 day cycle, the menses should report within the next 4 days and ovulation is long over for this group of ladies with normal cycle but for Mummy here, the follicle is not even considered as mature yet) But for our first child, my last menses was somewhere in Dec 08 and we found out that we were pregnant with her around Mar 09, so that would mean that the follicle had also been inside for quite some time and the egg was fertilized too, so this current follicle at CD 24 may not be bad after all right? If the egg is not ovulated soon, you may have to consider giving up this cycle.

Gyn: Maybe your girl belongs to a fresh batch of follicles, that is why.

Mum: (puzzled but gathered that she may have a tiny bit of inkling on what the Gyn was talking about, did not discuss further on this issue) So, by when should the ovulation be so as to render this cycle still okay?
Gyn: (counting on the table calendar) By this Saturday or Sunday, it should be ovulated as by then, you will be at CD 26 or CD 27 already.
Mum: Okay, so if the follicle is mature then, can we have the HCG shot to trigger ovulation?
Gyn: That can be done but the follicle needs to mature first. Let me see, so you will come back on 21 Jul 12, Saturday for a scanning and we will discuss further.
Mum: Okay, but in the event that if this cycle does not work out, what are our options?
Gyn: I can put you on clomid, which will help mature the eggs.
Mum: But I read online that there are side effects of clomid, increase risk of cancer and also that there is a maximum number of times that one can take clomid. Plus, it tends to thin out the uterine lining right? My uterine lining is not thick now and as per what my TCM Doctor said, with my light menses flow, the uterine lining may not be thick enough to support implantation, so if I were to take clomid, it may solve one problem but end up creating another.
Gyn: Do you trust online stuffs? But Clomid does tend to thin out the lining. However, we can put you on another medication in conjunction with Clomid to work on the thinning uterine lining caused by Clomid. But that can be discussed later. In the meanwhile, we can schedule another ultrasound scan for your this coming Saturday and we will see how.
Mum: Okay, Thanks.

With that, the nurse proceeded to set us another appointment on 21 Jul 12, Saturday for a scanning. As the appointments are full, she set me in as a walk-in customer and advised that I arrive at around 12 noon this coming Saturday.

After settling the appointment, Daddy made payment for the bill and we left the clinic.

Time flies... It is now July 12...

Time flies.. And they fly by without anyone noticing... Another life lesson that Mummy can teach you...

Like the wait for you to show up in our lives, it is still on -going and unknowingly, more than half a year had passed and you are not with us yet.. How nice would it be if we are able to meet each other next year.. Mummy is feeling so wistful now..

Hey, why not we set a meeting date? Ya try to pop first half of next year? So working back, assuming that I will pop in May 13, you should be inside my cosy womb in Sep 12? Let's try to work on earlier dates and if all else fails, latest would be to hear from you via the trusty HPT in Sep 12?

In the meanwhile, I will continue with my TCM Accupuncture sessions to try to up our chance of meeting and I will have Daddy work harder too to build up his health and all. After all, we only want the best for you, just like what we wish for and gave to your Sister. Only the best..

Tremendous stress with company event.. Not worth the loss of another precious cycle

For the month of Jun 12, the ovulation did occur albeit after a series of TCM Accupuncture for which we grabbed at the chance as usual.

The 2WW ended on 25 Jun 12, Monday when I spotted followed by the full menstrual flow on 26 Jun 12, Tuesday. Another sad day which my tears fell as if there is no tomorrow. I blamed Everything for this loss of yet another chance.

I must say that the days leading up to the Ovulation (10 Jun 12, Sunday) was very stressful for both your father and myself. This is because we were actually preparing for our exams on that very day itself and had been burning the midnight oil diligently for the past week. To add on, there were some changes in my work and I was being tasked to organise and manage a company-wide event practically all by myself. ='(

There was a committee set up by sadly, not all were keen to help. For the very few who were keen and willing to help, I am always thankful. Basically, I was running the whole show on my own, looking after all the nitty-gritty to the bigger items ALL BY MYSELF! Imagine my frustration! Your Dad totally understands the amount of stress that I was going through to the extent that I will find myself waking up in the dead of the night, setting reminders on what needs to be followed on etc.

It does not help that there were some issues encountered with the venue etc which brought along with it tremendous amount of stress. It was a difficult time and I am really thankful for the help given by your Dad. Can you believe that our family (your Dad, me and your sister) spent our weekends walking up and down the same shopping mall for a whole 9 hours on 16 Jun 12, Saturday sourcing for the gift items? Another 6+ hours of our personal time was wasted again on 17 Jun 12, Sunday and after buying all those stuffs, we rushed over to your Grandpa's place to have dinner together for Father's Day.

Your sister had great fun walking around our table and pulling out all the toys in her small little bag that she brought along. =) That was quality family time and fun, unlike the prelude.

The 2WW came and went fast, in between I did testing with the HPT but all turned out negative. However, on a Friday (either 15 Jun 12 or 22 Jun 12) itself, I found a spark of hope in the form of a speck of blood, fondly assumed to be implantation bleeding.

This brings me renewed hope and I really really really believe that we will be seeing you on the HPT and soon to come, a little flicker on the ultrasound screen representing your cute heartbeat, the growth of my tummy on a daily basis and the kicks and somersaults that will follow as well as welcoming you in our secure arms in Mar 13. =)

No words can describe my Joy on that day! =) I am confident and feeling all the positive vibes! Sore boobs and all that I experienced when I found out that I was carrying your sister back then! Even though in between the speck of blood, all the HPT showed up negative but I have a good feel that you were there.

However, my world came crashing on 25 Jun 12, Monday when more specks of blood was detected on 25 Jun 12, Monday, I was worried, very worried in fact. I was wondering what was happening? My menstrual cycle is due to start this week (with my luteal phase of 16 days) and I am not welcoming this blood now!!

The full flow came in the middle of the night on 26 Jun 12, Tuesday and for the days that followed, my mood index fell with no end in sight. But the event is scheduled on 29 Jun 12, Friday, I have no choice but to still put up a brave front and ensure that Everything runs the way they should be, as best as I can.

Your Dad took half day leave and we met up for lunch before popping back to Mummy's office to pick up the presents and your Sister. Your Dad helped me out over at the event while I busied myself with the nitty-gritty and tying up the loose ends. It was a busy busy night as if we are some sort of wedding planners etc. Your sister? She busied herself with her cookies and running around the place unbridled and not looked after/ over by anyone. To this date, I still feel so bad over this. Imagine, what if we had lost her on that night, it would be totally not worth it and I would never forgive myself and my strong sense of responsibility towards the undeserving work.

As it was a Company event, your Dad and Sister then went back to the carpark and stayed inside the car, waiting for your Mummy patiently till the event ends..

I am grateful for their love and patience towards me and it feels so warm and good to be able to return to a deserving family who really really should be getting 100% of me and my attention and not that work assignment that is assigned. The feel is that no one is appreciative and does not really see the huge effort that our family had placed in the event. It was a company project and the manpower that helps make this event happen came from our family, devoted to making it work for the hundreds of them.

Life is just so unfair. My little baby, that is what I can tell you, but please, please, never lose hope for the world will be a better place with you around. Welcome to our family, we will shower you with the respect, boundless love and patience that we accord to each other in our family and You are one of Us. =)

A fresh cycle... from 26 Apr 12

As mentioned, what followed the very first 2WW in the attempt to conceive you ended up in red. We failed.

The flow came in on Apr 12 and lasted the usual 3 days and ended in May 12. Looking forward to the next cycle when we can try for you again.

The Trying... Apr 12

Finally! The time is ripe to have a second child and as I really wanted a dragon baby badly and yet do not wish to have you compete with the other dragon baby in the year (thereby causing un-needed stress to both yourself and us), I have decided on the perfect timing!

That timing will be in Jan 13 as you will still be the soaring Dragon Baby (for better luck and all, hopefully) and yet can skip all the tough competition with the other Dragon Babies! Such a perfect plan!

I have much hopes in conceiving you as my cycle had regularised after giving birth to your elder sister. To be truthful, I have the Polycystic Ovaries Symptom (PCOS). This is generally a common problem as with most females. PCOS may then cause irregular menstrual cycle etc, thereby making conception hard to plan for as well as to predict.

However, with the regularising of the menstrual cycle, my confidence in conceiving you grew a little every day!

Finally, the time has arrived for us to try for you in Apr 12 (plus another 9 months down the road, you will be born in Jan 13, the perfect plan!) but alas, I am saddened to say that the cycle had gone haywire since Dec 11 with my last menstrual cycle arriving in Jan 12 and none after.

This sad fact dealt a heavy blow to me and imagine this, I have been missing my cycle and thus, missing the ovulation (the precious egg that will make half of you when united with your father's sperm) that would have given you a beginning!

The cycle for Feb 12 and Mar 12 had been missing and with that 2 precious chances were lost. In order to mitigate the loss and also to make sure all is a-okay, I then consulted and signed up for yet another Traditional Chinese Medicine a.k.a TCM Accupuncture costing me $900 (for 10 sessions) in the hope of being given a chance to bring you into this beautiful world and into our perfect lives!

After the first session of accupuncture and me a.k.a your Mom, diligently taking the horrible tasting TCM for a week, the ovulation was really triggered a week after I finished the TCM. A bit late in the effect, I would say but hey, late is better than never, so try we did!

After the trying in Apr 12, the next day mark the start of our 2 weeks wait. Basically, during the 2 weeks wait (2WW), we will wait patiently for your father's contribution to meet and unite with my half and then for you to form into morula, blastocyst etc as you travel down the fallopian tube to wriggle into the uterine lining and there, you will stay for the next 9 months where I will then provide you with the warmth and nutrients while in return, you will bring me endless joys with your kicking and hiccups etc as you play, learn and grow inside Mummy's womb.

Looking forward to the end of the 2WW to know the results. But knowing your parents, we will not be able to wait out the 2WW in peace but rather, we are testing Mummy's urine every other day to detect the hcg that will come along and be in the urine when you have comfortably nestled in the uterine lining.

However, 2WW came and went. What followed was not you but a fresh cycle, with the menstrual blood flowing, signalling the end of the egg and the shedding of the carefully built up lining to welcome a new life.

We are not giving up and Mummy is still going for TCM Accupuncture in the hope to regularise my menstrual cycle and in the meanwhile, looking forward to seeing you tell us of your existence through the Home Pregnancy Test Kit (HPT) soon.

The Beginning...

Let me tell you a little bit from the beginning.

I had given birth to your lovely elder sister in Year 09 via emergency c-sect due to no/ slow dilation.

As it was a c-sect and I am a first time Mom, I had decided to steer clear of another pregnancy within a year in order for the wound to heal, so that the next time I am pregnant again, both of us can be assured of a fresh start.

I believe that this is the best for us and what is within my means to give to you.